In America we get this idea that in Europe anything goes. They are all so free spirited that nothing matters. No shirt, dreadlocks, no problem. Well Switzerland is different. At least with the older generation that is. They are very modest. The Swiss can do what they want. If you aren't Swiss though you can't. As my friend said, they can smell a non-Swiss from anywhere. They really can. I walk down the street and feel people everywhere staring at me. This is such a frustrating feeling because I just moved here. I already feel lonely and don't need the added whispers saying I look different. For your information, I like my yoga pants and Nike shoes. I dont' want to dress up every freaking minute of my life. I don't want to push my stroller in 10 inch heels. I didn't even know this was possible. Oh, but it is. Not to mention I feel like a water buffalo here. Everyone is so freakishly skinny. UGH. Sorry that I don't want to smoke and drink all day everyday. I like eating. I like bread, and chips, and fries, and cake. I would rather be plump then have my heart pounding out of my chest. I know I am bitter. I am okay with it. I think God is okay with it too.
Not to mention that people in Switzerland speak Swiss-German so I am screwed no matter what. If it isn't hard enough to "blend" in here they make up their own dialect. Awesome. So I have decided I can only do what I can do. The plus is I don't have to be American, I could be German. Which is only 15 minutes from here. I would love for people to think I am Italian, actually. I have added some more bronzer in the morning so I can pretend I am.
I went and got some "Swiss" shoes yesterday because I was so sick of people looking at my shoes with their jaws dropped to the floor. I wonder what I will look like in a month. Smoking? Yellow pants? 10 inch heels? Weighing 120? HAHHAHAHA, I not likely on the last one.
Okay I am done venting for the day.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Crying cleanses the soul
I cannot take credit for these words. My cousin, Natalie told me that Uncle Greg said these words to her. They make so much sense don't they? The phrase puts me at such ease. I know God wants us to cry. He wants us to get everything out so that we actually feel our emotions. Holding everything in will soon turn disastrous for everyone. I feel that we have turned into a society where we look at crying as a weakness. This makes me so sad. What is weak about feeling sad? I think it makes a person stronger and more able to work through everything.
I have had so many tears in the past few weeks that I literally don't think I can cry anymore. I am moving today to Switzerland. I have had to say goodbye to all my family. If you know me you know how family is everything to me. I am the person I am today because of them. The past year has been so emotional because Andy and I never knew when we were moving. Every time I would come home, I would think what is it going to be like when I really move? All these feelings made for one very emotional year. That is why I am so ready to move. I have never ever felt bad about crying or getting sad though. I don't care if I walk into a store and people have seen that I have cried. I feel more powerful. I feel that I can actually show my pain and I am not embarrassed for others to see.
I always feel so much better after a good cry. Don't you? I cry, then I pray and I feel such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I wonder what it would be like if I never did cry? Would I be a cold person? I love that I have such a huge heart and wear my heart on my sleeve. When I see a homeless man begging for food I cry. When I see that someone has lost someone I cry. This makes me a compassionate person. This is who I am. I hold my head up high. I feel proud when I cry.
I have had so many tears in the past few weeks that I literally don't think I can cry anymore. I am moving today to Switzerland. I have had to say goodbye to all my family. If you know me you know how family is everything to me. I am the person I am today because of them. The past year has been so emotional because Andy and I never knew when we were moving. Every time I would come home, I would think what is it going to be like when I really move? All these feelings made for one very emotional year. That is why I am so ready to move. I have never ever felt bad about crying or getting sad though. I don't care if I walk into a store and people have seen that I have cried. I feel more powerful. I feel that I can actually show my pain and I am not embarrassed for others to see.
I always feel so much better after a good cry. Don't you? I cry, then I pray and I feel such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I wonder what it would be like if I never did cry? Would I be a cold person? I love that I have such a huge heart and wear my heart on my sleeve. When I see a homeless man begging for food I cry. When I see that someone has lost someone I cry. This makes me a compassionate person. This is who I am. I hold my head up high. I feel proud when I cry.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Too much time is never a good thing
I have done so much thinking in the past year that I am shocked I am not in a straight jacket yet. I haven't had a job since last June and have had to fill 8 hours a day 5 days a week up with something. Before, when I worked I thought how lovely it would be to not have a job. The house would always look immaculate. Andy would never have to worry about his laundry and I would be so skinny that people would ask where I was. Well the last part is just wishful thinking. I love food too much :) Well what ends up happening is that these things don't take up that much time. Monday by noon the apartment is clean and by the night all the laundry is done. Well that leads to just working out for the rest of the week.
I started thinking about everything all the time. When was I going to die? Is God really real? What if Andy dies in a car accident when I am pregnant? What if he loses his job? What if we move to Switzerland and I hate it? What if my family and I lose touch and stop being as close as we are? Am I fat? Do I have real friends? Am I a good enough friend, sister, daughter, wife that I need to be? Who should I donate to this week? I really should be working. If I have this much time on my hands why haven't I done more with my life. OMG!!!!!!!!! Just writing these things down makes my head spin. And don't let this fool you, there were many more thoughts that went through my head.
I started realizing how anxious I was becoming. I had so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do. Too much thinking creates anxiety which then creates depression. I had to put a stop to it. God put the idea in my head that having too much going on in our lives is better than not enough. I know that I am not the person that wants to look back at my life at 82 and think life went way too fast. But there is such thing as a balance. We, humans, only need about 30 minutes to an hour a day to reflect on our day, pray etc. I was doing this for 8 hours a day. Thinking so hard about every little thing I did. It is okay to look at the clock at 5 and think where has this day gone? That means you kept busy and weren't bored out of your mind. I would rather at the end of the day think to myself, ahh I didn't get to that today, then what the hell am I going to do tomorrow. I now have the mentality that too much on my plate is the way to go.
Reading the bible, workouts, working on my books, reading books, keeping up those relationships with friends, getting outside, helping others is the way I want to live. I would rather be running from one event to the next wondering how I got that coffee stain on my shirt or losing sleep because I am creating a list in my head for the next day.
I never knew I would say this but I would way rather be overwhelmed then be nothing at all.
I started thinking about everything all the time. When was I going to die? Is God really real? What if Andy dies in a car accident when I am pregnant? What if he loses his job? What if we move to Switzerland and I hate it? What if my family and I lose touch and stop being as close as we are? Am I fat? Do I have real friends? Am I a good enough friend, sister, daughter, wife that I need to be? Who should I donate to this week? I really should be working. If I have this much time on my hands why haven't I done more with my life. OMG!!!!!!!!! Just writing these things down makes my head spin. And don't let this fool you, there were many more thoughts that went through my head.
I started realizing how anxious I was becoming. I had so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do. Too much thinking creates anxiety which then creates depression. I had to put a stop to it. God put the idea in my head that having too much going on in our lives is better than not enough. I know that I am not the person that wants to look back at my life at 82 and think life went way too fast. But there is such thing as a balance. We, humans, only need about 30 minutes to an hour a day to reflect on our day, pray etc. I was doing this for 8 hours a day. Thinking so hard about every little thing I did. It is okay to look at the clock at 5 and think where has this day gone? That means you kept busy and weren't bored out of your mind. I would rather at the end of the day think to myself, ahh I didn't get to that today, then what the hell am I going to do tomorrow. I now have the mentality that too much on my plate is the way to go.
Reading the bible, workouts, working on my books, reading books, keeping up those relationships with friends, getting outside, helping others is the way I want to live. I would rather be running from one event to the next wondering how I got that coffee stain on my shirt or losing sleep because I am creating a list in my head for the next day.
I never knew I would say this but I would way rather be overwhelmed then be nothing at all.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Marriage is hard work
There is no doubt about it marriage is hard. If at the end of the day you want to have a love story then it is extremely hard. No one said it was easy. God says it is a sacred union. He puts marriage above everything else. God knows it is hard. He wants us to turn to him, and I thank him for that. I honestly don't know how marriages work that don't ask God to help guide them in the right way. I pray on a daily basis for so many things in my marriage. Putting a woman and man together in a house is like putting a lion in a bears cage to see who dies first. We are such opposite humans. Men and women need completely different things out of life. It is up to us to understand that and work hard at giving that to the other person.
I have noticed so many of us put our blood sweat and tears into our work and the second we come home it is lights off. How can I listen to my wife telling me about her day, when I just worked my butt off for 8 hours? God never intended for work to get into the way of our marriages. We have, in recent years, put our work lives on a pedestal and put every waking moment into that. We identify who we are buy the money we make, and the title we are given at work. Not by our relationships as husband and wives or as fathers and mothers. Work is supposed to provide for us. Not provide the 3 homes in the U.S. and the boat and jet skis for the lake rather for our basic needs. I have never been more impressed with families when I see that there are 4-5 children, a stay at home mom, and a husband that makes 40,000. They are serving the Lord. Their number one intention of being on this earth is to make him happy. Not to have 6 digits in the bank. Their focus is on each other and the families happiness.
Before we check out of our marriage and sign the divorce papers take a look at the bigger picture. Marriage is by far the most rewarding thing anyone will ever experience. It is a best friend that is always there for you. Someone to share your deepest darkest secrets with. Someone that supports you and tells you that you can and will accomplish anything you set your mind too. Someone to laugh with and cry. Someone that at the age of 80, you can look back and say life would have not been the same without the other. Someone that is so complex that you never stop learning things about them.
At the first sign of trouble we want to run for the hills. That person is messy and I tell them to be clean but they don't listen. Wasn't that person that way before you married them? We have this idea that the second we get married, our significant other is going to turn into a perfect human being with a halo around their head. If anything, the bad habits they were doing before get worse. I learned a lot in my bible study about sweating the small stuff. We have to let so much stuff go in order to have a fruitful marriage. Pride is such a big wall that we so often put up. I am very bad at this. I am quick to point out other peoples flaws but when it comes to myself I do no wrong. Marriage is filled with I am sorry.
For myself I have to remember how badly I wanted to be engaged. At that time it is the only thing I wanted. I was engaged for 9 months and it was the longest months of my life. All I wanted to do was be married. To wake up next to Andy and call him my husband. To dream about the future and the family we were going to create. To travel and explore the world together, as husband and wife.
I try and make myself look at our wedding pictures once a week. I instantly get so emotional. I see that smile on my face. I have honestly never been as happy as I was on that day. I remember thinking, I am marrying my best friend. I am 24 and found the love of my life. I am so lucky. We so quickly forget these times though. Our lives move so quickly that we naturally think of the next step in life. The marriage excitement wares off in a few months and life begins. One argument turns into 5 in that week and we start questioning things. No one ever said marriage was easy. It will be the longest marathon to the finish line of ones life. But the journey getting there will have all been worth it.
I have noticed so many of us put our blood sweat and tears into our work and the second we come home it is lights off. How can I listen to my wife telling me about her day, when I just worked my butt off for 8 hours? God never intended for work to get into the way of our marriages. We have, in recent years, put our work lives on a pedestal and put every waking moment into that. We identify who we are buy the money we make, and the title we are given at work. Not by our relationships as husband and wives or as fathers and mothers. Work is supposed to provide for us. Not provide the 3 homes in the U.S. and the boat and jet skis for the lake rather for our basic needs. I have never been more impressed with families when I see that there are 4-5 children, a stay at home mom, and a husband that makes 40,000. They are serving the Lord. Their number one intention of being on this earth is to make him happy. Not to have 6 digits in the bank. Their focus is on each other and the families happiness.
Before we check out of our marriage and sign the divorce papers take a look at the bigger picture. Marriage is by far the most rewarding thing anyone will ever experience. It is a best friend that is always there for you. Someone to share your deepest darkest secrets with. Someone that supports you and tells you that you can and will accomplish anything you set your mind too. Someone to laugh with and cry. Someone that at the age of 80, you can look back and say life would have not been the same without the other. Someone that is so complex that you never stop learning things about them.
At the first sign of trouble we want to run for the hills. That person is messy and I tell them to be clean but they don't listen. Wasn't that person that way before you married them? We have this idea that the second we get married, our significant other is going to turn into a perfect human being with a halo around their head. If anything, the bad habits they were doing before get worse. I learned a lot in my bible study about sweating the small stuff. We have to let so much stuff go in order to have a fruitful marriage. Pride is such a big wall that we so often put up. I am very bad at this. I am quick to point out other peoples flaws but when it comes to myself I do no wrong. Marriage is filled with I am sorry.
For myself I have to remember how badly I wanted to be engaged. At that time it is the only thing I wanted. I was engaged for 9 months and it was the longest months of my life. All I wanted to do was be married. To wake up next to Andy and call him my husband. To dream about the future and the family we were going to create. To travel and explore the world together, as husband and wife.
I try and make myself look at our wedding pictures once a week. I instantly get so emotional. I see that smile on my face. I have honestly never been as happy as I was on that day. I remember thinking, I am marrying my best friend. I am 24 and found the love of my life. I am so lucky. We so quickly forget these times though. Our lives move so quickly that we naturally think of the next step in life. The marriage excitement wares off in a few months and life begins. One argument turns into 5 in that week and we start questioning things. No one ever said marriage was easy. It will be the longest marathon to the finish line of ones life. But the journey getting there will have all been worth it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Less worry, more living
A few weeks ago I had a freak out moment. I decided I didn't want to watch television anymore. I didn't want to have a Facebook account, no more alcohol and only wanted to eat healthy food. Well no human being could do all of this in one day even if they wanted too. This is basically changing every single thing in my life in a moments time. I don't know what got me in this mind set. Looking back I had not been in my control for so long that I needed something to control. It has been a rough year for a planner like me. I have had no job and have had to re identify myself. My passion that I knew I would do for my whole life was now just a distant memory. I caught myself wanting to become someone who isn't me. I wanted to try being different because at the time I thought who I was was not working. I wasn't feeling like I was living. So what do I try to do, run from who I am. Through this discovery of trying to be someone I am not, I found a better me.
Living needs to be more of an action then a thought. Less worrying about how others might perceive us. Fixating more on balance then cutting the "thing" off completely. Isn't that making us more responsible anyway? If we take something out of our life completely then we can't hold ourselves accountable. It isn't there, so we just don't think about it anymore. Whereas, if we do have it then it is up to us to balance those things within our lives. The act of self control makes one a lot more powerful then not having to use it at all.
Andy has helped me with the balancing concept more then anyone I know. A little television didn't hurt anybody. If you want a glass of wine with every dinner then so be it. Getting on Facebook twice a day will not make you addicted to the computer. You can eat fast food once a week and not die from a heart attack. Everything is in moderation. I always used to beat myself up if I happened to watch a lot of television one day. I would think, oh my, I just wasted an entire day doing nothing. First off I enjoy television so much. I laugh, I cry, I have all the emotions that one has while reading a book. If it is a love of mine then why cut it out completely?
Living needs to be more of an action then a thought. Less worrying about how others might perceive us. Fixating more on balance then cutting the "thing" off completely. Isn't that making us more responsible anyway? If we take something out of our life completely then we can't hold ourselves accountable. It isn't there, so we just don't think about it anymore. Whereas, if we do have it then it is up to us to balance those things within our lives. The act of self control makes one a lot more powerful then not having to use it at all.
Andy has helped me with the balancing concept more then anyone I know. A little television didn't hurt anybody. If you want a glass of wine with every dinner then so be it. Getting on Facebook twice a day will not make you addicted to the computer. You can eat fast food once a week and not die from a heart attack. Everything is in moderation. I always used to beat myself up if I happened to watch a lot of television one day. I would think, oh my, I just wasted an entire day doing nothing. First off I enjoy television so much. I laugh, I cry, I have all the emotions that one has while reading a book. If it is a love of mine then why cut it out completely?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I prefer Monday-Friday.
I never feel like I fit into my age category. I always feel at least 10 years older then I am. I have never been amused with the party scene. I prefer a drink or two, then jumping in my sweatpants and watching one of my reality shows by 10:30-11 at the latest. I always apologized for not getting wasted at the bar with friends. Oh, I am sorry I do remember what happened last night. Is that a bad thing? I didn't black out at midnight, crap, what kind of person am I? I felt myself always making up excuses for not keeping up with the crowd. It wasn't until the past year that I was confident enough to admit who I was. An old soul who has a passion for Christ and enjoys more the day to day routine then the unplanned weekend events. I know what you are thinking. Why would I not absolutely love the weekends? Well besides not seeing Andy as much as I would like during the week, I can't quite explain my love for a routine.
I lied, I can explain why I love weekdays so much. I wake up everyday around the same time, 8 or 9. Wait patiently for my coffee to brew and savor every last drop of it. Then it is time for my "job" which we will talk about later. Workout comes next, which might only mean a walk outside to get fresh air. I then tidy up a bit and next thing you know Andrew is home. The rest of the night is always so much fun, because I am with him and who knows what comes next! The expectations that come with weekends are enormous. Something exciting must be lurking around every Saturday and Sunday. You didn't climb Mt. Everest this weekend? Well then what did you do? You watched a movie and fell asleep at 10? How lame are you. I love how on the weekdays, the nights might take you for a drink and a movie and it leaves us completely satisfied. But if that were to happen on a weekend then we are not living life to the fullest. Not to mention the fact that weeknights make up 5 out of the 7 nights a week. That means 20 days out of 30. Shouldn't we be making the weeknights count? I always hear people say how dreadful Monday-Friday are but when Saturday comes, life begins. How sad of a life. I know what some of you are saying, well you don't work. Well I did used to work and I made it a point to love my job everyday. If not every second, which is not possible, I always found the little things to make that day special. Even if it was grabbing a Starbucks in the morning. I always told myself it would never be about the money. I would end my job if I wasn't happy. I would and will always be perfectly content in a one bedroom apartment. Many people settle with a job they despise. We have such limited time on this earth, why not try and make every moment exciting?
I lied, I can explain why I love weekdays so much. I wake up everyday around the same time, 8 or 9. Wait patiently for my coffee to brew and savor every last drop of it. Then it is time for my "job" which we will talk about later. Workout comes next, which might only mean a walk outside to get fresh air. I then tidy up a bit and next thing you know Andrew is home. The rest of the night is always so much fun, because I am with him and who knows what comes next! The expectations that come with weekends are enormous. Something exciting must be lurking around every Saturday and Sunday. You didn't climb Mt. Everest this weekend? Well then what did you do? You watched a movie and fell asleep at 10? How lame are you. I love how on the weekdays, the nights might take you for a drink and a movie and it leaves us completely satisfied. But if that were to happen on a weekend then we are not living life to the fullest. Not to mention the fact that weeknights make up 5 out of the 7 nights a week. That means 20 days out of 30. Shouldn't we be making the weeknights count? I always hear people say how dreadful Monday-Friday are but when Saturday comes, life begins. How sad of a life. I know what some of you are saying, well you don't work. Well I did used to work and I made it a point to love my job everyday. If not every second, which is not possible, I always found the little things to make that day special. Even if it was grabbing a Starbucks in the morning. I always told myself it would never be about the money. I would end my job if I wasn't happy. I would and will always be perfectly content in a one bedroom apartment. Many people settle with a job they despise. We have such limited time on this earth, why not try and make every moment exciting?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Luzern, Switzerland-facing fears
I knew coming into this trip that the hotel we were staying at was 7,500 feet in the air. What I did not know was how far that actually was. It included 2 different gondolas and a 30 minute ride to the top. I am all about facing my fears in Europe and I guess this is where I should start?
My main reason for coming over here was to get out of my comfort zone. I am sick of being afraid of so much. I have always categorized myself as the scared one that always wants to stay safe. Do I want my memories to be the same thing day in and day out? Or do I want to think back to the time I was scared out of my mind sledding down a huge hill? If I am such a Christian then I should be able to do anything with his help. I have to keep reminding myself of this.
Back to the gondola. Of course my husband Andy is all about seeing how terrifying he can make the trip. He says OMG what is that noise? Or why did it just do that? All while I am gripping to the side of the gondola with my eyes shut. This is what I love about him though. We have such a fun, loving relationship. I can honestly say I fall more and more in love with him everyday. He challenges me and ensures me everything will be okay, at the same time making it fun for both of us. That is a huge reason why I married him. He is the exact opposite of me, and pulls me out of my safety net. I couldn't imagine being married to someone like myself. I would have been bored out of my mind by day 2 of the honeymoon. Andy is a dreamer and I am so thankful God put us together. I get to ride along in his dreams :)
I had no idea that a place like this even existed. I honestly think that this is what Heaven looks like. I have never been in such awe and speechless in my life. It is a place where I can sit and stare at the same mountain top for hours. In fact that is just what I did yesterday. I sat outside on a lawn chair with a blanket and stared at God's creation. I couldn't help but think this would be such a great place to pray. Sedona, Arizona is the only other place that captured me like this. I feel so close to God. To my Uncle Gary, to Andy's cousin, Brian. The list goes on but for some reason Uncle Gary and Brian are on my mind a lot. I am assuming they are my guardian angels. Why else would I think about them so often? I cannot wait to meet Uncle Gary. He is my dad's brother and meeting him has always weighed so much on my heart. I have also never met Brian. I prayed for him so much that I feel a special bond with him. Maybe it is because Andy is so effected by the loss of him.
Being above the clouds is such an amazing experience. Sure, we have been above the clouds in an airplane before. This is different. I can stare at the clouds for hours, or however long they stick around, and be perfectly content. I feel invincible in a way. That I am above everyone else. I am away from reality and all that comes with that. The way the sun reflects off the snow. The way it can be so warm during the day but so frigid at night. When the sun is setting and the sky suddenly turns to orange, blue and yellow. What a sight, what a sight. Then when the sun is away and the moon appears the stars come along. Pilatus is a place that can be loved at every hour of the day. I haven't seen stars like this since Tulum, Mexico. I never thought I would feel as close to the stars as I did there. I guess I was wrong. I can't believe this is my life. What did I do to deserve this? There are starving children everywhere and I am a top a mountain living like a billionaire. God is good.
Today I will face another fear. Sledging down a mountain. I have never skied before nor done any other snow sport. Heidi is making me go down the harder slope :( It is okay though, the 2 women that did go on the trip have bumps and bruises to make me feel better. One woman has a cut on her nose. Do you know what my sisters would say if I came home with a cut on my nose? I would be the laughing stock for days. I am already self conscious about my cheeks that are a bit chubbier, I don't need to add something to that. Well, if I don't make it back up the mountain it has been real, blogger. Thanks for being there for me.
My main reason for coming over here was to get out of my comfort zone. I am sick of being afraid of so much. I have always categorized myself as the scared one that always wants to stay safe. Do I want my memories to be the same thing day in and day out? Or do I want to think back to the time I was scared out of my mind sledding down a huge hill? If I am such a Christian then I should be able to do anything with his help. I have to keep reminding myself of this.
Back to the gondola. Of course my husband Andy is all about seeing how terrifying he can make the trip. He says OMG what is that noise? Or why did it just do that? All while I am gripping to the side of the gondola with my eyes shut. This is what I love about him though. We have such a fun, loving relationship. I can honestly say I fall more and more in love with him everyday. He challenges me and ensures me everything will be okay, at the same time making it fun for both of us. That is a huge reason why I married him. He is the exact opposite of me, and pulls me out of my safety net. I couldn't imagine being married to someone like myself. I would have been bored out of my mind by day 2 of the honeymoon. Andy is a dreamer and I am so thankful God put us together. I get to ride along in his dreams :)
I had no idea that a place like this even existed. I honestly think that this is what Heaven looks like. I have never been in such awe and speechless in my life. It is a place where I can sit and stare at the same mountain top for hours. In fact that is just what I did yesterday. I sat outside on a lawn chair with a blanket and stared at God's creation. I couldn't help but think this would be such a great place to pray. Sedona, Arizona is the only other place that captured me like this. I feel so close to God. To my Uncle Gary, to Andy's cousin, Brian. The list goes on but for some reason Uncle Gary and Brian are on my mind a lot. I am assuming they are my guardian angels. Why else would I think about them so often? I cannot wait to meet Uncle Gary. He is my dad's brother and meeting him has always weighed so much on my heart. I have also never met Brian. I prayed for him so much that I feel a special bond with him. Maybe it is because Andy is so effected by the loss of him.
Being above the clouds is such an amazing experience. Sure, we have been above the clouds in an airplane before. This is different. I can stare at the clouds for hours, or however long they stick around, and be perfectly content. I feel invincible in a way. That I am above everyone else. I am away from reality and all that comes with that. The way the sun reflects off the snow. The way it can be so warm during the day but so frigid at night. When the sun is setting and the sky suddenly turns to orange, blue and yellow. What a sight, what a sight. Then when the sun is away and the moon appears the stars come along. Pilatus is a place that can be loved at every hour of the day. I haven't seen stars like this since Tulum, Mexico. I never thought I would feel as close to the stars as I did there. I guess I was wrong. I can't believe this is my life. What did I do to deserve this? There are starving children everywhere and I am a top a mountain living like a billionaire. God is good.
Today I will face another fear. Sledging down a mountain. I have never skied before nor done any other snow sport. Heidi is making me go down the harder slope :( It is okay though, the 2 women that did go on the trip have bumps and bruises to make me feel better. One woman has a cut on her nose. Do you know what my sisters would say if I came home with a cut on my nose? I would be the laughing stock for days. I am already self conscious about my cheeks that are a bit chubbier, I don't need to add something to that. Well, if I don't make it back up the mountain it has been real, blogger. Thanks for being there for me.
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