Praise the Lord, I am pregnant. I have to admit when I first found out I was pregnant I was very shocked and it was an awkward feeling. I didn't really want to talk about it because I hadn't seen a doctor yet. I even felt like I couldn't thank the Lord yet because I wasn't positive I was pregnant. When I was home surprising my family I found out I was pregnant. What a fun time to find out I am pregnant?? I wasn't around Andy though and that was a bit tough. You definitely want to be around your husband during this time.
These 2 weeks were rough because I was feeling pregnant but I just wanted to see a doctor to confirm it. We hear all this negative information on the news all the time about miscarriages and it is hard not to believe it could happen to YOU. I didn't feel closer to God during this time. I felt further away. All my fault. I felt the Devil seeping into my thoughts and controlling my mind and heart. AWFUL, I know. It is sickening to think about. I am still working on this.
We went last Friday, October 26th at 9:30 a.m. to see the doctor at the Frauen Clinic. We live in a foreign country so yes I was nervous thinking about how different it would be from America. Walking into the clinic, I just felt a calming sensation. Again this is God making me feel at ease. Even when I turn from him, he doesn't turn from ME. I am blessed. I had my blood pressure taken and the doctor said, are you nervous, your blood pressure is high? I said, haha YES. I am very nervous. Then my doctor called me in and did the normal exam. She spoke good English and I felt very comfortable. She then did the ultrasound and there was the HEARTBEAT. It is honestly the cutest little thing in the entire world. It wasn't really a crying moment for Andy and I. It was more a OMG that is so sweet and CUTE. Switzerland is very laid back with rules on what not to do when pregnant. All I got was wash your hands after handling meat. HAHA. Love it. I also did not know you are not supposed to fly in your first trimester and that is why I got so sick during this time. YIKES, that scares me.
My 12 week appointment is in 4 weeks and my mommy gets to come. I AM SO HAPPY!!
Symptoms so far: Note, I said so far. I have reason to believe I might be getting more....
Very tender Boobs. I want to chop them off they hurt so bad.
I get chills a lot
Very full all the time, can't eat very much at all. Fine by me because I have lost weight.
Very tired all the time.
Get winded very easily.
Updates soon!!!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Astray
Frustrated that when I have everything going my way I get away from JESUS. I absolutely hate this and feel that there is NO excuse for this.
Every time I go home to Indiana I leave God a little bit because I have everything I need. I have my beautiful family and I feel no sense of loneliness. UGH, again I hate this. I shouldn't be turning away from God I should be praising and thanking him for giving me the opportunity to see my family. I am now a month into feeling astray from my savior.
Today is the day I need to get back to my normal. When I am not in tune with God, I am a different person. Why do I not remember this? Sometimes I feel like I have the answers and I can do it all. Ha, yeah right. The second I think this I will fall flat on my face.
I love you Jesus and I am truly sorry.
Every time I go home to Indiana I leave God a little bit because I have everything I need. I have my beautiful family and I feel no sense of loneliness. UGH, again I hate this. I shouldn't be turning away from God I should be praising and thanking him for giving me the opportunity to see my family. I am now a month into feeling astray from my savior.
Today is the day I need to get back to my normal. When I am not in tune with God, I am a different person. Why do I not remember this? Sometimes I feel like I have the answers and I can do it all. Ha, yeah right. The second I think this I will fall flat on my face.
I love you Jesus and I am truly sorry.
Maldives
Where do I even begin?
Heaven is what Maldives is. Pure paradise from sun up to sun down. The wildlife in the ocean was breathtaking. From sharks to stingrays, from turtles to stingrays. We were blessed to be able to stay in a hut on the ocean for a few nights. This time with Andrew is pretty much indescribable. "I know this is what Heaven looks like" were words blurted out every 20 minutes. We had a ladder on our hut that lead to the ocean. I, who is scared of everything dove right in. I knew this was something I might never experience again. I have to admit I get quite emotional writing about it. Andrew and I have had a lot going on our first year of marriage. A lot of you might be thinking, yes a year of what people would kill for. As we have had amazing times it still was the hardest year of my life. Getting married and for the first few months he left for Europe every 2 weeks. We didn't feel like we had a "home." Then last March we moved away from my family, my everything to move to Switzerland. The Maldives symbolized us getting through our first year and making it on top. Andy and I were able to stay so very close during this year and it is all thanks to the LORD above. This move didn't separate us, rather made us closer.
The other beautiful thing about Maldives is how you feel completely disconnected from life. No phones equals my dream. Especially for Andy because he gets a lot of calls from work a lot. Oh, I forgot to mention this was our first week vacation ALONE in 5 years. We didn't even know what to think about it. 10 whole days with just us two. We were either going to kill each other or leave cuddly as ever before. Luckily it was the 2nd thing :)
The staff in the Maldives still makes my heart full. I honestly wanted to cry every time I had contact with them. The smiles on their faces and their willingness to do whatever they needed to do to make my time perfect, they did. I didn't want to leave them. ever. I wanted to adopt all of them as family. It was hard not to think of the Swiss people and get anxiety about what I had to return to. The Swiss don't have this love overpowering their bodies. The Swiss have everything they need so they don't bother with anyone else. It is quite sad actually. Too much money is never a good thing.
Some thoughts:
*The food wasn't great.
*Loved getting alcohol whenever we wanted! We had the all inclusive.
*The infinity pool was my favorite. It flowed into the OCEAN.
*Snorkeled with Andrew one day. UNBELIEVABLE!!! I saw more fish in 30 minutes than in my WHOLE life. I looked up at one point and there was a barracuda staring at me!!! Ahh so scary!!! I felt very close to Andy because everytime I got scared I held his hand. I was just waiting for a shark to come get me :(
*We stayed in a Beach cabana for a few nights and then a ocean hut the rest. (Ocean hut was my favorite)
*We met some neat people, some thought my name was Gabby. HAHA.
*We pretty much had the same routine everyday. Wake up, go to pool, eat, go home shower, go to dinner, and then get drinks till last call at midnight.
*Got to see Andy do a night dive. This was AWESOME. He got hit by a manta ray. CRAZY.
*The hotel had a light on a pier that attracted fish, sharks, turtles and manta rays. We went here every night to see these gorgeous creatures. This was so fun :)
*Loved looking at the stars. We could see the southern cross bc we were so close to the Equator. Stars were UNBELIEVABLE!!!
*Just in awe at God's creations. Being in the middle of the Indian Ocean led me to feel closer to God.
Heaven is what Maldives is. Pure paradise from sun up to sun down. The wildlife in the ocean was breathtaking. From sharks to stingrays, from turtles to stingrays. We were blessed to be able to stay in a hut on the ocean for a few nights. This time with Andrew is pretty much indescribable. "I know this is what Heaven looks like" were words blurted out every 20 minutes. We had a ladder on our hut that lead to the ocean. I, who is scared of everything dove right in. I knew this was something I might never experience again. I have to admit I get quite emotional writing about it. Andrew and I have had a lot going on our first year of marriage. A lot of you might be thinking, yes a year of what people would kill for. As we have had amazing times it still was the hardest year of my life. Getting married and for the first few months he left for Europe every 2 weeks. We didn't feel like we had a "home." Then last March we moved away from my family, my everything to move to Switzerland. The Maldives symbolized us getting through our first year and making it on top. Andy and I were able to stay so very close during this year and it is all thanks to the LORD above. This move didn't separate us, rather made us closer.
The other beautiful thing about Maldives is how you feel completely disconnected from life. No phones equals my dream. Especially for Andy because he gets a lot of calls from work a lot. Oh, I forgot to mention this was our first week vacation ALONE in 5 years. We didn't even know what to think about it. 10 whole days with just us two. We were either going to kill each other or leave cuddly as ever before. Luckily it was the 2nd thing :)
The staff in the Maldives still makes my heart full. I honestly wanted to cry every time I had contact with them. The smiles on their faces and their willingness to do whatever they needed to do to make my time perfect, they did. I didn't want to leave them. ever. I wanted to adopt all of them as family. It was hard not to think of the Swiss people and get anxiety about what I had to return to. The Swiss don't have this love overpowering their bodies. The Swiss have everything they need so they don't bother with anyone else. It is quite sad actually. Too much money is never a good thing.
Some thoughts:
*The food wasn't great.
*Loved getting alcohol whenever we wanted! We had the all inclusive.
*The infinity pool was my favorite. It flowed into the OCEAN.
*Snorkeled with Andrew one day. UNBELIEVABLE!!! I saw more fish in 30 minutes than in my WHOLE life. I looked up at one point and there was a barracuda staring at me!!! Ahh so scary!!! I felt very close to Andy because everytime I got scared I held his hand. I was just waiting for a shark to come get me :(
*We stayed in a Beach cabana for a few nights and then a ocean hut the rest. (Ocean hut was my favorite)
*We met some neat people, some thought my name was Gabby. HAHA.
*We pretty much had the same routine everyday. Wake up, go to pool, eat, go home shower, go to dinner, and then get drinks till last call at midnight.
*Got to see Andy do a night dive. This was AWESOME. He got hit by a manta ray. CRAZY.
*The hotel had a light on a pier that attracted fish, sharks, turtles and manta rays. We went here every night to see these gorgeous creatures. This was so fun :)
*Loved looking at the stars. We could see the southern cross bc we were so close to the Equator. Stars were UNBELIEVABLE!!!
*Just in awe at God's creations. Being in the middle of the Indian Ocean led me to feel closer to God.
Haven't written in awhile
Every time I think to write I think of it as this big task. Often times then I don't do it because I feel it will take too much time. My mom makes a good point when she says that it doesn't always need to be this published piece of writing, it can just be random stuff. When I look back at my writings when I get older I doubt I will care about the quality of the writing. I also want my children to read these one day. How awesome to have blogs from every important event in my life?? I have to keep these going!!
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