A few weeks ago I had a freak out moment. I decided I didn't want to watch television anymore. I didn't want to have a Facebook account, no more alcohol and only wanted to eat healthy food. Well no human being could do all of this in one day even if they wanted too. This is basically changing every single thing in my life in a moments time. I don't know what got me in this mind set. Looking back I had not been in my control for so long that I needed something to control. It has been a rough year for a planner like me. I have had no job and have had to re identify myself. My passion that I knew I would do for my whole life was now just a distant memory. I caught myself wanting to become someone who isn't me. I wanted to try being different because at the time I thought who I was was not working. I wasn't feeling like I was living. So what do I try to do, run from who I am. Through this discovery of trying to be someone I am not, I found a better me.
Living needs to be more of an action then a thought. Less worrying about how others might perceive us. Fixating more on balance then cutting the "thing" off completely. Isn't that making us more responsible anyway? If we take something out of our life completely then we can't hold ourselves accountable. It isn't there, so we just don't think about it anymore. Whereas, if we do have it then it is up to us to balance those things within our lives. The act of self control makes one a lot more powerful then not having to use it at all.
Andy has helped me with the balancing concept more then anyone I know. A little television didn't hurt anybody. If you want a glass of wine with every dinner then so be it. Getting on Facebook twice a day will not make you addicted to the computer. You can eat fast food once a week and not die from a heart attack. Everything is in moderation. I always used to beat myself up if I happened to watch a lot of television one day. I would think, oh my, I just wasted an entire day doing nothing. First off I enjoy television so much. I laugh, I cry, I have all the emotions that one has while reading a book. If it is a love of mine then why cut it out completely?
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