There is no doubt about it marriage is hard. If at the end of the day you want to have a love story then it is extremely hard. No one said it was easy. God says it is a sacred union. He puts marriage above everything else. God knows it is hard. He wants us to turn to him, and I thank him for that. I honestly don't know how marriages work that don't ask God to help guide them in the right way. I pray on a daily basis for so many things in my marriage. Putting a woman and man together in a house is like putting a lion in a bears cage to see who dies first. We are such opposite humans. Men and women need completely different things out of life. It is up to us to understand that and work hard at giving that to the other person.
I have noticed so many of us put our blood sweat and tears into our work and the second we come home it is lights off. How can I listen to my wife telling me about her day, when I just worked my butt off for 8 hours? God never intended for work to get into the way of our marriages. We have, in recent years, put our work lives on a pedestal and put every waking moment into that. We identify who we are buy the money we make, and the title we are given at work. Not by our relationships as husband and wives or as fathers and mothers. Work is supposed to provide for us. Not provide the 3 homes in the U.S. and the boat and jet skis for the lake rather for our basic needs. I have never been more impressed with families when I see that there are 4-5 children, a stay at home mom, and a husband that makes 40,000. They are serving the Lord. Their number one intention of being on this earth is to make him happy. Not to have 6 digits in the bank. Their focus is on each other and the families happiness.
Before we check out of our marriage and sign the divorce papers take a look at the bigger picture. Marriage is by far the most rewarding thing anyone will ever experience. It is a best friend that is always there for you. Someone to share your deepest darkest secrets with. Someone that supports you and tells you that you can and will accomplish anything you set your mind too. Someone to laugh with and cry. Someone that at the age of 80, you can look back and say life would have not been the same without the other. Someone that is so complex that you never stop learning things about them.
At the first sign of trouble we want to run for the hills. That person is messy and I tell them to be clean but they don't listen. Wasn't that person that way before you married them? We have this idea that the second we get married, our significant other is going to turn into a perfect human being with a halo around their head. If anything, the bad habits they were doing before get worse. I learned a lot in my bible study about sweating the small stuff. We have to let so much stuff go in order to have a fruitful marriage. Pride is such a big wall that we so often put up. I am very bad at this. I am quick to point out other peoples flaws but when it comes to myself I do no wrong. Marriage is filled with I am sorry.
For myself I have to remember how badly I wanted to be engaged. At that time it is the only thing I wanted. I was engaged for 9 months and it was the longest months of my life. All I wanted to do was be married. To wake up next to Andy and call him my husband. To dream about the future and the family we were going to create. To travel and explore the world together, as husband and wife.
I try and make myself look at our wedding pictures once a week. I instantly get so emotional. I see that smile on my face. I have honestly never been as happy as I was on that day. I remember thinking, I am marrying my best friend. I am 24 and found the love of my life. I am so lucky. We so quickly forget these times though. Our lives move so quickly that we naturally think of the next step in life. The marriage excitement wares off in a few months and life begins. One argument turns into 5 in that week and we start questioning things. No one ever said marriage was easy. It will be the longest marathon to the finish line of ones life. But the journey getting there will have all been worth it.
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