I found myself in the early days of miss Amelie wanting time to fast forward. Days were longer than long. Anxiety awaited me at each new hour. I thought my life would never resume normalcy again. I didn't realize how easy my previous life had been. To say my world was rocked is an understatement.
I honestly can say I am not ashamed for feeling this way. You will not see a blog from me saying "I wish I had embraced every moment." Survival mode. That is what I constantly told myself. I wanted her to be older. I needed her to be easier. I wanted so desperately to feel that sheer joy every single second that so many mothers feel. Peace has been placed on my heart by Jesus. Peace that it is okay to not LOVE the hard times. The hard times are where we grow the most spiritually, emotionally, physically etc, so I would be silly to say I don't welcome the hard. I have grown more in these past 4 months then I have in my entire life, but to say one enjoys every moment up until the growth would be a lie.
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