Past 2 weeks

Wow, has Amelie regressed a lot in these past two weeks. The girl won't let me put her down. If we are home she is a little better about being put down, she must be familiar with everything. When we are out and about she holds onto my shirt so tightly. I will have to say it is very cute. She is so dependent on me which is not usually like her. She is pretty independent. She likes to always be facing outwards. She can only be rocked facing out and never like a baby :) She won't let us put her pacifier in her mouth. She wants to do it, and boy does she cry if she can't do it...

When babies make a huge leap in their development they regress first before making the leap. I usually am someone that can see the light at the end of the tunnel and stay positive but I just simply couldn't do it. I was a mess. I had a couple of breakdowns to Andy. The hard part for me was we JUST got her to fall asleep basically anywhere for her naps. She no longer needed Mommy and Daddy to hold her during her naps. She also started falling asleep without a whimper. All she needed was a blanket and her paci. I had 2 weeks of bliss. I started thinking, oh this is why people have children. I actually did have a moment of, wow this is easy, should we try for baby number 2? I was able to actually do things during the day without her strapped to me. I started getting my identity back. I was able to paint my nails. I was able to go to the bathroom without her staring at me. I was able to clean the dishes from the night before. Andy and I were able to have conversations that didn't include, "When do you think she will start sleeping off of us?" It was lovely. I thanked God for this everyday, all day. Seriously. I had waited for this for 4 months.

Then it all came tumbling down. Amelie only wanted us again. When she was awake she was a mess. She was wanting to sleep like a newborn again. Literally she would wake from a 2 hr nap and want to sleep again. She started crying hysterically all. over. again. It was as if the nightmare had returned. Honestly I told God I was mad. God, why did you tease me? I would have rather not had that 2 weeks because now I know what life can be like without her 24-7. She is 5 months old today. Andy said we have to stop giving into her. She had a rough week where she needed us a lot but now we need to teach her she can't always be on us. He was so right, and I needed to hear this. Yesterday we started putting her in her crib again for all of her naps. I do feel manipulated as she fell asleep after about 10 min of crying each time :/ We also were out shopping yesterday and she fell asleep in the stroller for about an hour :) So I will say it is a mixture of her returning to her old self and us intervening to do what we need to do. Children don't know what is best for them. Only we do. This is the first real thing we are teaching her. It feels so good. I can get back to my duties. My identity is here to stay!