At 11 weeks I am finally starting to get my emotions and depression stable. Although I have not been that sick this pregnancy, my emotions have been EVERYWHERE. It is really hard being in Switzerland and feeling depressed. I have never been depressed in my life so I didn't really know what to think. I had a mental block with God and I hated that the most. I just wasn't happy. I wasn't excited for the baby and I wasn't even excited to look at baby stuff. I did research and realized that this is normal so I never freaked out. I knew it would go away but it was a long few weeks that I felt like this. I wanted to document it so for my next pregnancy I will be aware of it.
I am starting to wake up happy again and want to do the normal things I used to do. These past few weeks I haven't wanted to do anything and that is not like me. Even when we are doing something fun I am not excited to do it. It is so reliving that it is gone now. It is a terrible feeling and I don't wish it on my WORST enemy. It made me look at depression differently too. There is NO way that you can just shake it. You have to take something to help you think correctly. I have so much more compassion for people that have this. It is rough and you feel alone. I felt ashamed to tell some people because I am always the happy positive one :( Honesty is the best policy though.
I am starting to get SO excited for this baby. 2 more weeks and we have the ultrasound. We have bought some baby clothes so that is very exciting :)
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