Honesty

Recently I read a wonderful blog that was very raw and pulled at my heart strings. The honesty from the writer was what made it so real. I don't believe one can just be honest. I think honesty has to come from within. I think one has to search themselves to see how they are really feeling. Honesty is hard because at least for me it usually ends up in a new discovery of myself. Sometimes I don't want to be honest with myself or God because I know what the outcome might be. Change.

A few conversations have stuck out to me in the past few months relating to honesty. One was with a friend Rachel that lives here in Basel. She said it is hard to get to know people here because they are not honest. When asked how they are doing, most give the normal answer, good and you. Rachel says that is CRAP. They are not GOOD. They are sad, lonely, depressed, wondering why they had to move so far away from their secure world. Rachel said the thing that sucks is you can't get close and real with people when they aren't telling you how they feel. She says if people would just actually come out and say, you know what, today SUCKED big time, we would actually be getting somewhere. Honesty is powerful. How can we truly get close to someone if their answer is always, good? It's when we pour our hearts out that we cross that bridge with a person. It is when we are honest.

A recent blog is what caused me to write this blog. The words left me speechless and actually jealous that I didn't come up with something like that first. It left me feeling so much closer to the writer. This particular person has dealt with a lot of grief in her lifetime. A loss of a brother and son is a person's nightmare and for this person it is real life. She discussed being frustrated with God on some days because of her pain. She wrote that there are days where she feels very distant from God because she doesn't even know the words to say to him. Even writing this brings up pain in myself. I felt so close to her at that moment because I too have felt that way. Instead of being honest with myself and putting those feelings at the forefront I locked them away and threw away the key. By her saying this and actually feeling it, she is moving closer to finding the answers she needs. I will wake up frustrated and mad but not work through why. Or better yet I get so mad at myself for feeling this. I don't allow myself to feel pain and sadness because I know people have it worse. The unfortunate part is that I am only hurting myself because the truth is no where to be found.

Honesty leads to maturity, growth, confidence, self awareness etc. Instead of giving people the robotic answer of I am good. Think about it. Are you really good?